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You Don't Miss The Old Days.

You Miss This

A business owner was talking about New York City and what it was like in the late 1990s and early 2000s. During this time he was in his 20s.

At one point he said, “I miss the old New York,” as he went on to share how much the city had changed over the years.

Then, his business partner corrected him.

He said, “You don’t miss the old New York City. You miss the old you.”

That made me smile because I can’t tell you how many times over the years I’ve said “I miss the old [insert something from the past].”

I’m guessing you’ve done this too.

The truth is that we miss who we were “back in the day” in the midst of our youth and rebellion.

We were bold, cocky, brash, confident, super optimistic, and more. The world was our oyster.

Our sentences were filled with, “I’m going to…travel the world…start my own business…get promoted to vice president…hang out until 5 am….move to a new city...stop listening to my parents” and on and on and on.

Then, 10 or 15 years later, bam! We find ourselves somewhere we didn’t anticipate being.

It’s not necessarily a bad place. But, it’s not necessarily ideal either.

The truth is that the old you that we idealize is dead. Gone. That chapter has closed.

We can go back and reread old journals and look at old photos if we like, but it’s still over.

Have you accepted that it’s over? Most will never will.

Instead, we daydream about and idealize the past. This means that we’re never present in the moment of today.

Instead of being present and preparing to move forward, energy is spent looking backwards.

This is living through the rear-view mirror of life. The rear-view mirror is small for a reason.

Now, the good news.

Today, and everyday is a brand new chapter for us.

You, yes you reading this email, get to “write” what shows up in this chapter.

Everyday is a brand new blank canvas. You, get to “paint” what you most want.

Instead of looking in the “rear-view mirror,” right now you have access to a massive front windshield that allows you an expansive view.

You just have to look.

If you’re thinking, “But I how can I do that? I have responsibilities!”

How can you not do that? It’s your life that we’re talking about.

You didn’t end up where you are by accident.

We end up where we are based on the choices we did and did not make.

So, which mirror are you going to use?

A great way to look at this is with a question:

If your life was an amazing movie, and the movie was halfway over, what would the lead character (you) do right now to start turning things around?

So, if your life was an movie and it was halfway over…

What courageous step would the lead character take?

What would the lead character stop doing?

What would the lead character start doing?

You are the lead character in this movie. But it’s not a role. It’s real life.

The old days (including all of the good and bad) are gone.

I don’t miss the “old you.” I didn’t know that person.

I’m more interested in who the current you and the next you and what that person is going to going to do next.

Make your life a movie that you would pay to see

Antonio Neves is a nationally recognized leadership speaker, award-winning journalist and author of 50 Ways To Excel At Your First Job (And In Life).

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