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A Question That Can

Change Your Life

Summary

  • In the hundreds of speeches that I have delivered over the years, there’s one question that I ask that stops people in their tracks.
  • The question makes them pause and challenges them to evaluate their life and choices, past or present.
  • This question cuts doesn’t care about culture, language, borders, or faith. It pulls no punches.
  • The question gets to the core of what it means to be the best, or worst, version of ourselves.
  • Here’s the powerful question framed in three ways:
  1. Based on your last 30 days at work, if your company had to make a decision to rehire you, would they?
  2. Based on your last 30 days of marriage or your relationship, would your partner immediately recommit to you?
  3. Based on your last 30 days as a parent, would your children want you to continue to be their parent?
  • For most, the easy answer to these questions is, “absolutely!”
  • If that’s your truth, great. But I'm not sure I believe you.
  • The questions again:
  1. Based on your last 30 days at work, if your company had to make a decision to rehire you, would they?
  2. Based on your last 30 days of marriage or your relationship, would your partner immediately recommit to you?
  3. Based on your last 30 days as a parent, would your children want you to continue to be their parent?
  • You might have a sinking feeling that based on your last 30 days at work that you really haven’t been putting your best foot forward.
  • You might realize that based on your last 30 days, you’ve been taking your relationship for granted, putting your energy and commitment towards other things.
  • And, you might acknowledge that based on your last 30 days of parenting, that you haven’t always been as present or patient as you would like to be.
  • All of this can lead to getting fired; a relationship coming to an end; or, providing a terrible example to a child that you love.
  • The great thing about these questions is that it's not a judgment about your past.
  • Instead, these questions are an opportunity to hit the reset button. An opportunity to reevaluate what’s in front of you. An opportunity to recommit to what’s most important.
  • These questions allow you to adjust your behavior and how you choose to show up for what matters most.
  • Start today with one small shift. It can spark change today, tomorrow and beyond.
  • Make sure that 30 days from now when you answer any of these questions you can confidently say, “Absolutely my company would rehire me. Absolutely my partner would recommit to me. Absolutely my kids would want me as their parent.”

Antonio Neves is a nationally recognized leadership speaker, award-winning journalist and author of 50 Ways To Excel In Your First Job (And In Life).

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